I'm Feeling Queer Today

[00:00:00] Hi Evan. Hi Christina. I'm happy mini so day we're doing some little bit different today. Thank you. It's mini so day but we're not really seeing it. But it's a maxi so.

[00:00:12] Yeah, today on the hallowed mini so day we are instead bringing you an episode of a podcast that we love. I'm feeling Queer Today. Yeah, we're doing a little feed swap with them so we have one of their episodes here in the

[00:00:36] feed that's really soon to you right now and they are sharing our episode about feeling Queer enough over on their feed. We're really excited to be working with them. Yeah. And to kind of give us a little bit more information about the show.

[00:00:54] We did a little interview with someone who worked on I'm feeling Queer Today named Clare, who you're going to hear from. And then also we will hear from Emma, who is on the staff working behind the scenes

[00:01:12] so we wanted to give you that little introduction before we talked to Clare. Yeah, it's the intro to the intro. So you hear this chat with Clare and Emma a little bit and then you will hear their episode.

[00:01:26] We'll talk about the show in a few moments but definitely please check them out. They're doing really great work or big fans and we're excited to be in the Queer podcasting world with all those people working on the show.

[00:01:43] We can't say goodbye because the show continues so on with the show. Welcome to the by pod Clare. Hi. Hi. So great to have you. Thank you. We always ask our guests to let us know who you are and what your relationship with Queer is.

[00:02:02] Okay, so my name is Clare. I'm 23. I'm a cat decoran. I just graduated from college last year. I like to say that to everybody because it's an accomplishment and I'm not going to shut up about it. Absolutely. Yes. Thank you very much.

[00:02:17] I did a divine primarily as bisexual but in recent years, I have found more of a tie to the word Queer. My mom hates that word because she was alive for the 70s and so she's like this is why don't say that. I'm like, well we're different now.

[00:02:34] So when I was first coming out like 14, 15, I saw my label as something that kind of set me free. I still feel that but very much then I was like this is it. This feels like I have wings and I am flying.

[00:02:50] And then in my later teens and even early 20s, I'm in my early 20s. But I mean like when I was 20, I was very much like I feel like this is teaching me. This put me in a box.

[00:03:01] This is making me reduce myself which I feel like that happens with a lot of things when you're that age like everything that you decided that you are becomes a reduction. I'm not just might be like an I'm 19 and angry thing.

[00:03:17] But now I feel like both of those labels are both so me and I just I love having different words to express myself everything is kind of just an expression of self. I love that. You. Very relatable.

[00:03:34] Big nineteen is one of you being like none of these makes sense to me anymore. Leave me alone. I love that journey. I'm feeling queer today is a very collaborative show. You've got a pretty awesome team, lots of queer youth from all over the place working together.

[00:03:52] How did this show kind of come to be and how did you come to be a part of it? So I know a little bit of how it came to be. I know that before I came on it was already existing group with a different group of individuals.

[00:04:06] Some of those same people stayed over but it had a pilot already and it was I can't call it anything other than what we kind of figure out it out to be later but like an audio scene as seen being like you know a collaborative like print.

[00:04:24] I always have such a hard time describing when a scene is but the word audio like the phrase audio is very much what I'm feeling queer today is to me but the way that I came in time feeling queer today

[00:04:36] is I got an email from a professor of mine and that was sent to like the whole department because I was a digital media production major and I was looking for an internship and I got this email about this

[00:04:49] internship and I was reading it and I was like did somebody write this application for me? Like was this made for me? I was just like I was so excited because I kept seeing internships that just felt like

[00:05:02] you know I was going to do the work and it was going to be the work and it wasn't going to be anything else but this felt like something that was meaningful to me. This was important to me. I've always felt tied to queer youth.

[00:05:15] I was one, one's fun of time. So I just wanted to talk about being queer and figure things out. So I applied and so it did like 10 to 15 of there queer youth around the country ranging from ages.

[00:05:32] 15 to 23 I was right at the top of that gap and I got to talk to some really, really cool people and we just were collaborating and figuring things out through time zones, through businesses

[00:05:46] and stuff like that. It was just really so amazing and I just found myself talking to like you know these kids and I was like you guys are so smart. I was not this smart when I was 15.

[00:05:58] Like I just had this kind of like you know where like I just didn't know what was going on the way that you guys do and so it's just such an amazing opportunity to connect with my community.

[00:06:09] I feel like I was doing that kind of in my real life that this really jump started for me I want to connect more. I know Christina and I both had that reaction that you

[00:06:24] named of like wow you were like so wise I was like not that smart as a teenager. Nothing in my head. Which it's great to have a show that is giving a platform to

[00:06:37] to young people. I also have to remember that like at 15 I had lots of thoughts. I just didn't have a no one was interviewing me about them so maybe if I heard myself then I have to like give

[00:06:50] myself more credit and not assume that I'm you know smarter now because I'm older. I like that idea. I'm gonna give myself that credit to. Yes, I'm sure that you had really interesting things to say at 15 Claire. I'm really good you have that confidence.

[00:07:11] I can fill in a little bit of the gaps of I'm feeling queer today if that's interesting to anybody. Yeah absolutely Emma. Yeah I'm Emma there she pronouns work great I'm a cancer as long as we're

[00:07:24] sharing our signs please and I'm a teaching artist and a media producer at the Future Perfect project which is the nonprofit that developed I'm feeling queer today and the Future Perfect project was co-founded by Celestia Licine who's also the co-founder of the Trevor Project

[00:07:43] along with Ryan Amador who's an award winning theater maker singer-songwriter artist extraordinaire. So Ryan and Celestia linked up made this nonprofit and when the pandemic hit we realized that we needed to move all of our what was in-person programming online and so many incredible

[00:07:59] programs and so much freedom came from bringing everything we did online. We got to connect with people from all over the country and beyond you know places we might not have been able to travel

[00:08:12] we made a series of animations we interviewed queer youth and brought their stories to life with queer animators queer composers we have albums of original music out we have like this online song residency where we you know introduce queer songwriters to queer music industry professionals and

[00:08:30] get them going on that journey and we have the podcast I'm feeling queer today which is led by a radio personality comedian artist extraordinaire Julie Novak who really we wanted to give the

[00:08:46] mic straight to the youth and have them be in charge of telling their stories because at the future perfect project we believe that the artistic expression of queer youth is a declaration of a better

[00:08:57] future for us all so like when they are safe scene and celebrated everybody is safe scene and celebrated and it turns out that when you hand the mic to queer youth amazing things happen amazing connections

[00:09:11] get fostered and it was just as rewarding for us as it was for them and the result is this sort of audio zine which is like this beautiful audio collage of everybody's experiences it's

[00:09:23] like queer people like to break the rules and so while we're breaking the rules of you know what is considered a typical sexuality or a typical lifestyle according to heteronormativity let's break the podcast rules too let's have crazy segments let's have tons of different voices let's

[00:09:40] have loopy sound effects and a really great original theme song written on an omnichord which if you don't know an omnichord is bucelet it's the queerest instrument ever yeah so that is a

[00:09:52] little bit about I'm feeling queer today from like the nonprofits perspective and we just love it and we're so happy to get to meet people like Claire who are so passionate about telling their stories

[00:10:04] I mean takes a lot of courage to tell your story especially as a queer young person who's maybe not been encouraged to do that I mean Claire you were saying like your mom doesn't

[00:10:12] like the word queer I have a gay grandmother who also hates the word queer and so how are we supposed to feel encouraged to tell our stories when even like the affirming people in our lives don't really

[00:10:23] understand us so I just think I'm feeling queer today such it's a place where you can really be your full self and we hope to reach people that might feel alone or might not understand

[00:10:36] queerness and by the end of an episode they'll say oh that's who I am or oh okay found my people hmm I love that beautiful thank you Emma that was very apt to my experience that was really good

[00:10:47] um I would love to know if you have a favorite part about making the show or favorite thing about working on the show can I say maybe a part and also my favorite thing that I did on the

[00:10:56] sound yeah absolutely there's no this is a queer podcast you do what you want to do I just wanted to make first I think my favorite thing about the podcast was just like very much like

[00:11:08] the freedom to explore our interests fully and completely um so one I found things that I would have never found unless I was talking to these people that I was talking to and the things that I created

[00:11:26] were you know collaborative but also a lot of the times it was an idea that I had like a one often I was just like I think this would be cool if we made it and then I was just allowed to you know

[00:11:37] and I got to show it to everyone and they were like yeah this is super cool and I was like okay so there's really no rules here to the topics and the subjects that we can go on and then the

[00:11:48] other things that I was a part of that um you know the other people the other queer youth in the podcast were creating it was just such like a wonderful learning experience and like

[00:12:02] we really bonded during parts of these things because you know when you record audio for a while sometimes it just becomes a conversation and sometimes you just get to talking and we just a lot

[00:12:12] of the time do just get to talking a lot of the times we had to be like all right guys let's really get in because we've been recording for four hours and we don't know what this is about yet

[00:12:20] so I'm gonna sit down and listen for hours of audio and kind of something but it was just that was that was probably my favorite part about the whole thing I personally have a really difficult time

[00:12:32] creating when there is minimal rules because I really think it's because I went to school for like a production a little bit so I'm like okay where are my guidelines um so this was a very

[00:12:44] like amazing space to just figure out what I was independent of that and what I was as a creative was it difficult yes did I learn a lot and did I have a lot of fun absolutely and what

[00:12:55] was made was incredible um and I think that my favorite experience um was when I got to do trivia with I am Jazz um and Jazz Chinese and I absolutely lost so hard um and it was really

[00:13:08] embarrassing but she's great she's very kind and wonderful and and Trudy's great too Trudy was so great um I definitely relate to you and um like sometimes it's helpful to have rules because then

[00:13:20] you like have something to break in order to like get to the creativity um yeah it sounds like you all have really struck that balance really well also more than once I've been like Christina

[00:13:30] we have to stop recording we're at like over two hours now we like can't keep doing this yeah I also sometimes forget that we are recording and I'm like alright people are gonna hear those

[00:13:41] hang on but we're just chatting like yeah yeah yeah I also in my memories I'm always like did I say that to you on the show or were we just sitting in your living room also

[00:13:59] yes all bloods I got right so in the episode that we're sharing today we will hear in interview but you did clear with elders at a pride event and would love to hear a little bit

[00:14:12] about what it was like to talk with them and hear their stories so this is actually my first pride that I have ever been to yay thank you but yes this is my first pride um and it happened

[00:14:24] to the New York City Pride which was an incredible thing to get some experience um and it was just really amazing to just go up to anyone and just ask them my like little questions that I had prepared

[00:14:40] it was very like nerve-wracking at first because um people usually don't want to be asked questions about their life um on the streets of New York they really don't like what you do that but in this

[00:14:50] instance they really did like it when I did that so um you know I definitely got people being like no I'm okay which was totally fine but a lot of people were really excited and especially once I told

[00:15:00] them about I'm feeling great today and the future perfect project and exactly what this was going through as they were so excited to talk about their experiences and what they had to say to

[00:15:12] themselves or like young queer people but it really it felt like and I think that it felt like this nothing I'm trying to put words in their mouths but I think that it felt like this for everyone

[00:15:21] that we were all talking to because I was there with all my friends too which was really nice but it felt kind of like important lessons were being passed down you know um it's not like

[00:15:35] it's not like we get guaranteed elders in our community to talk to us about things that are going on you know and some of these people were like my age but it's just like the different experiences

[00:15:49] and the differences in location or you know just daily life or just who we are as people um creates different advice and different things to talk about but it was also really nice to just

[00:16:02] see everyone interact within their own groups that they were in you know so like I would say something I would ask the question to someone and they would say something and their friends would be like

[00:16:12] I didn't know that or that's so wonderful that that is the experience that you had or that's a wonderful thing to say to someone are just like watching people like joke around it was like I'm I'm

[00:16:23] I'm watching families you know and so as much as it was like wonderful to hear and put it together and see whatever I was saying it was also just so nice being there and getting to experience um all of these different families and like friends and communities

[00:16:42] like you know getting together because I think I said this in the in the segment but pride isn't intersectional and the importance of intersectionality is all around us and I really got to see that

[00:16:58] Yeah it's a beautiful segment um I've listened to the episode a couple of times and I wept both times which will not surprise the listeners at all I cry a lot but it was very moving

[00:17:09] and like you said we're not guaranteed elders in this community and so to be able to access their stories and to be able to have those intergenerational conversations it's so beautiful and so special I don't know if we're also talking about the history segment

[00:17:23] that I did that was that coincides with that as well but I did that as a collaboration with my good friend Lindsay and it was something that was so it was difficult to do but it was also just so like

[00:17:36] just wonderful to watch like the progression of where we've been and where we're going um wherever that may be and just to like have those two things at once this wonderful joyful

[00:17:50] experience of everybody at pride and also seeing when we've come from I feel like that was kind of the vision that I had I just wanted um I wanted to sort of be able to talk and chat about our

[00:18:02] history together yeah absolutely um we're so excited to get to share this episode with our listeners so you will hear that episode now um please go subscribe to um I'm feeling queer today we'll put all the links in everything in the description um but yeah here's your episode

[00:18:21] thanks so much Claire thanks Emma enjoy my name's Frankie i'm 23 my pronouns are they them and i'm from upstate New York I hope that at least one out of I literally don't care if it's like

[00:18:38] just one child gets to hear us and say oh my god i'm like that too like it's okay there are more people like me out there that's that's really what this means to me and what I hope where people

[00:18:51] will get out of this welcome on the right side of the rainbow feel right on a put on a good show there's a skip in my step i'm doing my best and i guess that you

[00:19:19] put it safe I'm feeling queer today hi i'm Alex i use they them pronouns i am 23 years old and i am located in what is colonolinone as seri bc hello there i'm Lily mother

[00:19:43] reproned her they she and he i'm 19 years old and i am from Massachusetts and welcome to the very first episode of i'm feeling queer today a podcast created by team of amazing LGBTQIA plus yet before

[00:19:55] redeive and hey Alex what do we mean when we say queer i'm so glad you asked in this podcast we use the word queer as an umbrella term for the LGBTQIA alphabet which includes anyone who's

[00:20:07] marginalized due to their expression or the repression of their gender and sexual identities as queer author bell hooks describes it queer as being about the self that is at odds with everything

[00:20:18] around it and that has to invent and create and find a place to speak and to thrive and to live in this podcast we try to make that space together queer might have once been used as a

[00:20:29] pejorative or slayer but it's since been reclaimed and is widely embraced just make sure to ask a person what words they prefer because not everyone will become sure we'll have in queer use to

[00:20:39] describe them and are new feeling queer today i'm feeling pretty clear today have a Lily i'm an lesbian capital of the world feeling queer today wait what is the lesbian capital of the

[00:20:50] world north-hampton nuts would choose it wow i don't know if i could place it on a map because i'm Canadian but that's okay there's nothing years just a lesbian as far as the eye can see

[00:21:05] lesbians a superruse and young children just a living their best life that does sound beautiful okay so many people when they think of queer youth today have a picture in their minds

[00:21:17] of a very scared and downtrodden group of young people who feel like they have to hide themselves and who they are while LGBTQIA plus rights are certainly under attack and young people do feel that reality there's still many queer youth who celebrate their existence in this episode

[00:21:33] we showcase the words of those folks myself and Lily included who are doing their best to live out and proud lives amidst all the adversity but it's not always easy even up here in Canada we've

[00:21:44] been getting anti-queer rallies and transphobic bills but being able to share these stories is a privilege i for one oh everything to the queer story tellers who came before me as they showed

[00:21:54] me how to love myself for who i am it is an honor for us to follow in their footsteps and i hope that this podcast offers a similar kind of solace at the top of the episode we heard from

[00:22:04] Frankie Gunn one of the 11 young adult producers of this podcast they shared what they hope this podcast can become a place where you feel seen safe and celebrated and most importantly not alone we'll hear more from Frankie throughout this episode including the story over their first

[00:22:22] queer crush but to start things off we are going to hear the first installment of a recurring segment called my queer-edid knee journey this one featuring you Alex which i am so excited to share the label i currently use for my identity right now is non-binary femme lesbian

[00:22:48] i did not discover all of these layers and facets of my identity overnight and there were a lot of labels that i considered for myself that never really fit i realized i didn't like men and my

[00:23:00] immediate thought was oh i must be a sexual and i realized i liked women and my first thought was oh i must be bisexual lesbian was never in option as a label in hindsight a lot of that might be because of

[00:23:13] how lesbians were portrayed when i was growing up if the lesbian was this strange alien outsider for the simple fact that lesbians were not men and did not pursue men and that was just utterly

[00:23:26] inconceivable in our patriarchal society when we weren't that we were predatory and we were after straight girls and we were turning them like vampires or something lesbians was just a word that had all these super charged connotations and that made me reluctant to use it for myself

[00:23:49] honestly it took meeting and being able to talk to other lesbians for me to overcome a lot of that internalized lesbophobia it also took me a while to figure out my gender identity

[00:23:59] i spent much of my youth as a tomboy very stereotypical tomboy close and presentation in all that and only upon realizing that i liked women did a start feeling comfortable presenting femininity feminine presentation with the goal of attracting other women the lesbian feminine

[00:24:17] i find that in my experience my various identities are all interwoven and the impact and interact with each other for example i know that my neurodivergence and attraction to women play a

[00:24:28] major part in how i understand and proceed my gender for example i believe that there is a correlation between autism and gender variance i wouldn't be surprised if it's because we understand and navigate gender differently than neurotypical people besides the fact that being autistic made it very hard

[00:24:46] to do typical girlish or womanly things due to often like sensory issues or even behavioral ones i wasn't a very ladylike child but i also didn't want to be so i guess that did kind of work out

[00:24:59] and then on the other side of the coin there's how lesbianism impacts my gender i am doing femininity in a very dike queer weird kind of way and honestly the only real connection i have to

[00:25:13] womanhood is through that lens sometimes i just say oh yeah my gender is i'm a dike there are a lot of people who will understand what i mean by that and that is really nice it's a jumble all

[00:25:24] right femme but not a woman non-binary but also lesbian and again the neurodivergence is a huge factor however there's one really important experience that i think impacted my identity more than anything the simple fact that i have access to the queer community has been invaluable to my journey

[00:25:42] it's through knowing queer folks and being able to learn about our history that i've had the privilege of understanding myself and knowing i'm not alone in my experiences and discovering the very edge for my identity and that is so important and that is something that i think

[00:25:57] every young queer person deserves so here i am today non-binary lesbian still autistic still all those things do you want to talk about the word dike i'm just gonna say i'm very fond of the word dike to be honest

[00:26:31] i'm i'm still getting cozy to it because i'm like old enough that that was not like a happy word when i was a youth so i'm still like exposure therating myself to the word dike

[00:26:42] but i do still get like a little like some of this one i'd be older gay people they're like oh it's so nice to be a young guy and i'm like oh what and then i'm like oh what yes

[00:26:51] something about that about someone from that generation saying it can be a bit of a gem scare even if it is self-esteem most of the things it's like i know you are an elderly but flaspy

[00:27:01] who probably runs an insurance company like the navy but still scared for a minute there yeah i'm very fortunate that actually i don't know if it's fortunate to say this but it was never dike where i was from it was always just lesbos or lessy or even just

[00:27:18] lesbian said with particular scorn we had the lesbian one um we yeah i guess cultural differences and anti lesbians that we're learning about today um yeah it feels like it's just nice to

[00:27:34] kind of come into that identity and it definitely is something that like varies on your comfort level like people can have the same identity but feel very different about how they want it referred to

[00:27:44] when that's deeply fascinating i honestly think working on this podcast helped me get more comfortable with it because i think a lot of us will use the word like dike and i also um this is

[00:27:55] audio so you can't see this but this device that i'm recording on is resting on a copy of dikes to watch out for oh i love that i have a copy of dikes to watch out for somewhere in my room i'm not

[00:28:05] even joking it's like i love this we're both like within like maybe like 10 feet of a copy of dikes to watch out for and when you come out as a lesbian you've received your obligatory copy in the mail

[00:28:18] yeah just shows up it shows up on your doorstep which is a letter signed by missvic del herself congratulations you are a lesbian yeah so what do we have next on the doc it Lily we have Frankie again my hero talking about queer crushes and i love this

[00:28:38] recurrence segment there can be few them it's still my heart with love and joy and i'm very sapy yeah the queer crush is segment is probably one of my favorite recurring segments

[00:28:46] though i might be a little bit biased because Frankie and i compose the music for it together i put together this little theme and then they did a bunch of really cool stuff with that theme

[00:28:56] and yeah i'm really happy with how it turned out we will listen to that now enjoy my first queer crush comes from a memory that i don't even possess myself it's a story that

[00:29:15] my mom likes to tell about when i was in preschool i had a very dear friend as dear a friend as you can have when you're four we used to spend a lot of time together she was this is small

[00:29:29] girl that wore so much pink and love fairies and flowers and it was at the same time that my very supportive wonderful mother was introducing me to the world as you do with a four year old

[00:29:43] and she told me one day that women were allowed to marry women and men were allowed to marry men now of course this is prior to her understanding of the fact that gender is not binary but

[00:29:57] she explained it to me in the best way that she possibly could and when she got to the end of her explanation according to her i yelled fairly loudly i'm gonna marry Claudia who was the very

[00:30:10] dear friend first queer crush i had that i was aware was a queer crush was when i was in middle school there was a girl in my class who i had gone to school with for most of my life that i thought

[00:30:23] was the most beautiful person in existence she had long chestnut curly hair and these bright eyes recently i found a polaroid picture of the two of us sitting next to each other at her birthday party

[00:30:37] and i had the cheesiest grin on my face it just reminded me of that gitty joy of simply sitting next to someone and feeling better about the world and to this day i try to use that feeling as a

[00:30:52] compass to navigate where i should be and what relationships i should be in i also feel like queer crushes don't necessarily feel different for me because being queer is all I've ever known it's

[00:31:05] all I've ever been i do think it takes more unpacking to get to a point of acceptance of those and that was the biggest hurdle for me that being said i have been out for almost a decade

[00:31:17] and it has been quite a long journey but a journey i am very happy to be on that was absolutely adorable woman fuffy so warm and fuzzy i love that this is something that happens very naturally

[00:31:37] just like with the heterosexuals we catch feelings as kids and it's okay it is so innocent and so pure and that's what's so special to me. so it's important to me for the same reason especially like you talked about earlier especially the predatory was being trope

[00:31:57] i think it exists among gay men as well but for some reason it seems particularly strong there so to hear a bunch of people talk about the first crushes and to to make it clear that it's

[00:32:08] not it's not a creepy thing we were just like vibes i want to play hopscotch with them next up we're going to be hearing from Claire at New York City Pride 2023 hearing the way that Claire talks about it is really exciting and fascinating we chatted with Claire

[00:32:27] about what inspired her to create this piece and here's what she had to say. this was my first pride and i have always felt like it is so important for queer youth to connect with the queer elders in the community but whatever or age you are

[00:32:45] i just feel like it is important to have older people that you can talk to and ask questions and or just listen and hear their stories and hear their experiences there's a lot we don't know

[00:32:56] every time i see an older queer couple i do tear up every single time. it just it brings me such joy to see that it's possible to see that we're here and to see that we

[00:33:08] have been here for at least as long as those who have been together and it brings me a lot of joy and so i felt like being able to hear from those people what they wish they knew or you know

[00:33:20] just the questions about their life i feel like that was something that was important to me and i felt like it should have a place here. thanks Claire i do just want to say that i also

[00:33:31] cry every time i see an older queer couple when public let's take listen to this empowering segment now. to be at Pride is to experience and celebrate queerness but what does that mean? where did this word and this event come from? today queerness and the word queer

[00:33:59] encompass the entire LGBTQ community. what i would tell the queer youth is that there is no rush to figure out what you are and there's no rush to find a label just go with the flow and then

[00:34:10] one day you'll feel like yourself. this is in stark contrast to what the word queer meant 10 years ago. let alone a 1969 when the movement that would be Pride began. queerness or being queer is objectively defined as anyone who doesn't conform to heterosexuality and or being cisgender.

[00:34:32] subjectively however the word has had a few meanings. as early as the 1930s queer was being used as a slur to call people weird, strange or ruined for experiencing same sex attraction. queer was also used in tandem with words like fairy and pansy with harm intended.

[00:34:51] i think i tell queer you do what you need to to keep living and to survive whatever situation that you're in at the moment because no matter what there will be a day where you will be okay

[00:35:03] and you will be in a place where you are safe and loved. so hold out, hold forward for love. alongside the metamorphosis of the word queer, Pride was being born. Pride is the amalgamation of the many protests, activists and riots with the stone wall in

[00:35:20] often seen as its forefront. it is widely accepted that marsha pjonson through the first brick at the stone wall riots but the events of that night are debated. queer history is an oral one.

[00:35:31] we don't have an accurate written historical account. i'm clear the one thing that i would love for queer you know is that there are a lot of people out there working to make things better as

[00:35:41] various things seem especially for trans-eutrient now like people are fighting for it so we'll hopefully get there. one year after the stone wall uprisings the first Pride was held in New York City. the movement for equal rights was just getting off the ground when the queer community was

[00:35:58] plagued by another instance of heinous homophobia. the AIDS crisis transformed into the epitomek it is today within a decade culminating in over 100,000 lives lost. president Ronald Reagan took no action with just a feeble mention of the AIDS crisis at the end of his presidency he left

[00:36:17] office with the deaths of 100,000 people on his hands. the queer community has never fully recovered from this loss. there is a piece missing from our history for american history and an entire generation of people who were stripped of the opportunity to see what this community would accomplish

[00:36:34] due to their contributions as well as the chance to experience it themselves. we'd like to take a moment of silence for that generation now. what i would say to queer use is the light is at the

[00:36:54] end of the tunnel you will feel safe and you will feel comfortable time will come it's okay. with the new millennium came a new sense of queer hope. the millennial march on Washington, the national

[00:37:06] equality march and the beginning of widespread LGBTQ plus decriminalization began a wave of support the queer community hadn't seen. in 2015 the US Supreme Court decriminalized same-sex marriage legitimizing gay marriages in the eyes of the state. unfortunately this was not enough

[00:37:25] and the government continues to be a perpetrator of violence via legislation. leaving the queer community unprotected and unsupported. i'm a new misdemean and what i saw the queer youth is the world moves fast but move at your own pace to yourself with kindness and compassion as you walk

[00:37:39] through this journey there will be people waiting for you at whatever you're ready. the queer community continues to grow and with the efforts of queer nation and the entire pride movement queer is no longer a weapon to use against us but a reclaimed word that reinforces our community.

[00:37:56] queerness is pride and pride is beautiful. so what i would like to say to gay youth is it gets better it's definitely gets much much better this hanging there. i love this segment we just

[00:38:14] heard from Claire at enmysypride 2023 thank you Claire who we love you. Alex can I ask about your product experiences because i know that you are in instrumental artist a musician and you sometimes

[00:38:27] play gigs at prides. honestly my pride gigs are probably some of my favorite gigs um this summer i got to play at a community pride picnic over in the city of Bernabey that probably is nothing

[00:38:40] to our American audiences but lovely city. i i really liked it a lot. i got to just like sit on this nice field and play some city little songs so a bunch of people on picnic blankets and

[00:38:50] enjoying food the field was very alive with people and i really know i made it i really know that i nailed that gig because after the fact like some like preteen came up and told me how great i was

[00:39:02] and they had like a little pride flag and one of those little pride flag capes it was very sweet. yeah those are probably my favorite kinds of gigs or um last year i played the Vancouver Dyke March

[00:39:13] which just absolutely delightful back on the word dike it's a recurring theme in my life but like beautiful beautiful experience. it starts as a march and an ends in a field and they're all

[00:39:25] these like tents up for like local organizations or like people selling stuff it's really cool and i'm just very fortunate to be able to have had these opportunities to perform in spaces where

[00:39:36] I feel safe because i feel safe at pride and that is paramount. believe it or not that my big age I have yet to be to like a true pride event. really yes i've gone to ptown which is another very

[00:39:50] gay place in the northeastern united states um it went with my partner a couple of years ago very fun very lovely rainbow sidewalks um chaochkis the bliborion is a drag queen. love that six foot five drag queen which is awesome. honestly i think this will probably mean more

[00:40:10] than most anything that i ever go to um when my high school had their first well-exponsored pride event and we decorated cookies and as we've a little learn i went to a cathakai school

[00:40:22] that did not have some very queer friendly policy for much of the time so that was a that is some foreshadowing for some way to episodes um and that's what you can look forward to

[00:40:34] in this season of i'm feeling quite today. as with this episode sadly we're coming to a close. in this last segment produced by Frankie Gun we all describe what pride means to us from the most

[00:40:48] simple solitary gestures to moments of love and support amidst the larger LGBTQIA plus community. enjoy for me pride is about embracing who you are and not letting anybody take that from you pride is really important to me not really as it pertains to braids or celebrations on a

[00:41:12] mask scale but personal pride for me queer pride is just more about like can i be proud of who i am as all that i am pride feels like a gift pride is completely accepting and celebrating yourself

[00:41:32] as you are and not wishing that things would change. pride to me means loving myself and who i am showing up as yourself as a queer person and allowing individuals to take that power away for

[00:41:48] you. pride means showing the world that we are still here that no matter how much you beat us down or kick us out we're still here and nothing is going to change that. the act of knowing yourself

[00:42:06] the act of claiming yourself actively being proud of yourself. i feel like seeing pride in others is what helped me embrace my own identity. it feels like an heirloom that was given to me by people

[00:42:22] who have done work to make sure that i'm able to exist the space i am now specifically queer trans black people pride is seeing other queer people and immediately feeling less alone.

[00:42:37] pride is something that you can use to uplift others or something that others can use to uplift you. queer people have really learned how to build community and how to build family,

[00:42:49] how to build chosen family. pride is my queer friends who love me exactly the way i am. pride is what lets me tell my own stories and hopefully that stirs up pride in other people.

[00:43:05] it's a really liberate feeling, finally standing your true pride is like a lifeline and it really makes me feel safe. in a way i guess it's the lifeblood of this community. the act of simply existing is an accomplishment i'm forever proud of that.

[00:43:29] a lovely segment put together by Frankie which sampled so many voices that you're going to be hearing throughout this season. yeah we've got a whole season ahead of like queer stories and queer trivia and all these wonderful segments and adventures from all these wonderful youth voices

[00:43:44] and this has been the first episode. thank you for listening. yeah again where you're a host Alex Massey and Lily Moller and you've been listening to i'm feeling queer today. be sure to join us next week for episode 2 where we talk about identity, fluidity,

[00:44:03] labels and more. and if you like which you hear please rate us and share the show with your friends or family or both and don't forget to ask yourself how am i feeling queer today?

[00:44:14] for more information and resources about this episode check out the show notes or visit the episode page at the future perfect project dot org slash podcast. if you or a young person you know between the ages of 13 and 24 is currently in crisis

[00:44:29] check out the travelproject.org for LGBTQIA plus specific support through text and chat or call 1-866-487386 we will also be including these in the description as resources to learn more about the future perfect project and all of our free arts programming for LGBTQIA plus youth visit

[00:44:48] the future perfect project.org or find us on social media at the future perfect project. i'm feeling great today is produced by the future perfect project with support from Radio Kingston WKNY AM-1490 FM-179 Kingston, New York. this episode was produced by me Alex Massey and

[00:45:09] by me Lily Moller, Frankie Gun, Claire Florence and Wallace featuring Sunday meal Plunko, Ariela Brady-Wazberg, Jack Sturbasio, Ovala Shelby and Treaty Poocks. Our theme song was composed and performed by me Alex Massey and produced by Emma James Laoski. Additional music composed by myself, Frankie Gun and Epidemic Sound,

[00:45:29] episode mixing and mastering by Julie Novak with assistance from Emma James Laoski. Special thanks to executive producers and mentors, Julie Novak and Celestia Sien. As well as future perfect project team members Ryan Amador, John Juan and the Leah Jamiel.